Wickham Market

Gran's Story - Wickham Market

Gran quickly settled into her flat at Kitson Court and she found life much easier living all on one level. She also enjoyed being able to walk to the Post Office and shops. Gran did not always find it easy to mix with strangers but she quickly made friends in Kitson Court and starting playing Scrabble with two of the other residents. Every Monday they would come to her flat and half way through the game they would stop for a cup of tea and some of the cakes which Gran was still able to bake.

Several of the residents in Kitson Court also attended Charsfleld Chapel and Gran was always provided with a lift to the services.

Following our retirement, Don and I decided to move into a bungalow. We realised Gran would sooner or later need more support and so we decided to look for suitable accommodation for ourselves in Wickham Market. We moved in October 1997 and only a few days later Gran suffered a stroke. Following a spell in hospital Gran returned to her flat but the stroke had left her with permanent weakness in one leg, difficulty in swallowing and double vision.

Gran now needed more help and support and being just ten minutes walk from Kitson Court we were able to give her this.

All her life Gran had been strongly independent and now she found it hard to accept help from her family and from Social Services. Sometimes this would result in her feeling stressed and frustrated but she was always very grateful to us and she never failed to thank us each time before we left her. I shall always be grateful to my husband Don for his patience and understanding over this time and to my daughter, Jenny who was such a great help and support to me.

Over the years Gran suffered various times of ill health. On occasions she had to be admitted to hospital for blood transfusions when Diverticulitis caused her to haemorrhage. She had several mini-strokes and she also had a bad fall and smashed her hip which needed an operation to plate and pin it.

Gran needed an operation to remove a cataract - this was done one morning in the day hospital. When I went back to take her home in the afternoon she greeted me by saying “I have had a lovely time - the anaesthetist was an Egyptian and he knew all the places where I lived seventy years ago, we had a lovely chat”!

We all realised that Gran was gradually becoming more frail and now it was necessary for us to do almost everything for her and I started going to her flat at 8.30 every morning. At this time Jenny offered to take over the caring duties every Saturday which gave me a break one day each week and she also took full responsibility occasionally to enable Don and I to take a few days holiday.

Jenny usually called to have a cup of coffee with Gran one morning during the week and Gran really looked forward to this. Often Jenny was able to go to the shops if Gran needed anything and she took on the role of buying birthday cards. Gran was very particular about her cards — each one had to be chosen carefully with the individual person in mind. Sometimes Jenny would have to go back to change a card if Gran was not really happy with it.

Gran was now no longer able to go to Chapel on Sundays and there was one thing which really touched me - when I went on Sunday mornings she would always be dressed in her best Sunday clothes. She said it didn’t seem like Sunday unless she did this, when she was going to watch the service on T.V. and Songs of Praise in the evening. Gran continued to take an interest in all that took place at Charsfield Chapel and appreciated visits from the Pastor, members of the congregation, and especially the children.

Being no longer able to leave her flat very often, Gran took great pleasure in her telephone - she said it was her ‘luxury’. She kept in regular touch with her brother Harry and sister Agnes every week and Grand-daughter Jane, who now lived in America, always rang her on Monday afternoons. This was a highlight in Gran’s week and they would always talk at length.

On their birthdays and at Christmas Gran was very generous to all her family. I think we will all remember that whenever we gave her a gift, however small, she would always say “It’s just what I’ve always wanted”.

Christmas 2004 Kitson Court - Gran 2nd left

On visiting Gran’s flat everyone would always see a Bible on the stool near her chair; it was a large print edition which had belonged to her husband. Gran read portions of Scripture every day and would often tell me what she had read and how she had found it so helpful and appropriate to her situation. Her faith was a great comfort to her in her old age.

Gran had one big concern - the fact that she was losing her hair. We all tried to assure her that we really didn’t notice it and that everyone was used to her as she was, but to Gran this was a great embarrassment and she would never leave her flat without wearing a hat.

Gran became very precise about the time. I was expected each morning at 8:30 but if I arrived at 8:25 she would say “you are early” and if it was 8:35 “why are you late I was getting worried”!!

Gran became very fussy about cleanliness. She had always been clean all her life but now it became a phobia with her. Many times every morning she would ask me “have you washed your hands?” and when I hoovered the carpet she would search to see if I had missed the smallest speck! Gran also became very particular about ‘airing’ - when I took her laundry back she insisted on hanging it on the radiators although I assured her it was aired and fit to put in the drawers.

Gran wanted to do her own washing-up almost to the end of her life and it was quite an experience to watch her - she would wash everything in hot soapy water, then rinse under the hot tap and finally sterilise each item with boiling water from the kettle. Then it took her ages to wipe everything dry on a ‘clean’ tea cloth!! It was a good thing she only had a few items to deal with each day!!!

Gran had one real fear - that she would one day need to leave her flat in Kitson Court to go into residential care. She regularly said to me “I hope I never have to go to That Place”. “That Place” was the old folk’s home in Wickham Market. We were all so pleased that Gran’s fears were unfounded and she never had to move from Flat No. 18.

Back - Next