Tales from Uncle George

While in the Royal Navy George got irritated with the sailors who wouldn’t get up in the morning. Since he was the one who was up and making tea, he decided to teach them a lesson. He made them tea – but not just any tea, this was laced with laxatives! It wasn’t long after drinking the tea that “they came out [of their bunks] like out of a trap”.

He also didn’t like the people who wouldn’t help making the food. He decided to make a chocolate duff with his feet one day. Now that isn’t too good in itself – but you have to know that he had been at sea for three weeks with no bath! Those feet were ripe – ugh!

On George’s way to America to pick up the HMS Dacres, his ship was being torpedoed. He was locked in the torpedo room “with me inside to die if the ship sank”. Fortunately, they made it to America with a hole in it big enough to drive a bus through!

When George got to Boston to pick up the HMS Dacres, the American sailors offered breakfast. They had a rasher of bacon, spoonful of beans, toast and tea. He couldn’t eat it all! With that kind of food available, they asked the Americans if they could sign up.

George thought that the HMS Dacres would take five months to finish however,was surprised that it only took three weeks and five days. While on the HMS Dacres going back to England, George worked in the bulk head and saw how the bulkhead was moving. There were a few thousand gallons of diesel oil in that bulkhead! In their eagerness to get the ship built they failed to put in braces! With his warning they were able to stabilize the bulkhead and avoid a disaster.

While in Africa, conditions were primitive to say the least. The natives built an “outhouse” by digging a trench and put a top on it. The problem was it was filled with loads of scorpions who called it home! Whenever someone went in they’d be stamping their feet to keep the scorpions away. One day someone wanted to get rid of the scorpions so he threw a match into the outhouse! It burnt the whole thing down – “men were running out with pants around their ankles”! Rather amusing!

When George had a five day leave while stationed in Ireland he decided to go home. It took one day to get from Ireland and a day back. He spent the other three days in the pub drinking! To make it home each night he followed the train tracks. The local police sergeant kept asking his dad when he was going back!

Did you know that George invented the Frisbee? He waited for cow patties to dry and used them like we use Frisbees now!

As a boy George used to get around town by catching a ride on a milk cart – not in the milk cart! He would hold on and “skate” on his clogs with sparks flying! “Granddad said I was a bloody fool”. At times he would also catch a ride while wearing one skate tied on with string – he was creative!

Uncle George Video in Woodhouses, July 2009


Templates in Time